Today was a weird day for food. Hubby left on his annual fishing trip waking me up at 4am getting ready to leave. As you know, those of us suffering from autoimmune diseases, you don't mess with my sleep!! I tried to get back to sleep but that is harder than going to bed in the first place. Makes it hard to be loving and express longing when your dragon monster not asleeping face is out and your trying to say good bye....yea well good bye already!
Starting off weird the ball kept rolling that way. I didn't eat breakfast till 11:30am and then I missed lunch because, well, breakfast was at 11:30am. Breakfast was leftover biscuits and bacon from day #4 and a glass of homemade kombucha (that was getting crazy expensive to buy every week!) and snacks were sea snax and a handful of dried apples. Dinner was awesome, my go-to burgers with mushrooms and avocado. But that wasn't cutting the sweet tooth so I made some sweet bananas from the healing kitchen cook book and it totally curbed the craving. Now just to figure out how to sleep after that sugar high!
I want to ramble for a minute about the importance of a good support system. I mentioned before that bubby tries but he doesn't understand he has the belly of an Ox! Being sick for this long really shows you who your real friends are. Those who aren't 100% in will show their true colors when they just stop coming around, or make sly jokes about your situation, or don't understand how grave the situation can be. And I used the word grave on purpose. Having to rely on other people for help and support for the first time in my life has been so humbling and it is clear to see who the people are who want to raise you up and keep you feeling strong and on the right path, and those who push against your will power. I am beyond blessed to say I have a truly amazing circle of people who love me and want to see this AIP journey help me and want to see me healthy again. Days like today, where I could have easily thrown it all away for a chocolate chip cookieC it's nice to know I have an amazing bunch of women (and hubby) to lean on. Going to bed happy!!
Friday, April 29, 2016
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Day #3 and the best day ever! Day #4 and not much is new...HOW could I top day 3
Day #3 and 4 are lumped in this post.
Day #3 = the best day ever!
Because the AIP community is so small it seems like everyone is connected. There are a few big names out there and the women who lead this community are not only the strongest and most intelligent woman I have ever had the pleasure of reading about, but they are also the most giving and generous. I do someday hope to be as kind and giving as these women. With any other medical community it is easy to see the competition and the cut throat atmosphere between members of the groups. But not the AIP community. This group of individuals learns something new and then figures out any way possible to share the information to help everyone heal and is always giving credit where credit is due.
I got my start on the paleo and AIP journey because someone recommended I listen to The Phoenix Helix podcast, with host Eileen Laird. This woman is amazing! She interviews anyone and everyone that has insight into the healing community and does anything she can to make sure everyone gets to hear the information. From her, I learned about Sarah Ballantyne (The paleo mom), and Mikey Trescott. I signed up for their emails and learned about a giveaway from Angie Alt. The grand prize was signed copies of AIP books from so many big wigs, and her personal guiding assistance on the AIP for 6 weeks. Now if you remember correctly I only started my journey on Monday, and signed up for the prize the same night. Well low and behold early Wednesday morning I opened my Instagram to find out that I WAS THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! I, for the first time in 2 years, started hysterically crying, not because I was ready to end my life from being a terrible burden on my family, but because someone cared enough about my healing journey to help me!! This is very new for me. Even being as sick as I am, I am still the first person to offer to help before accepting any myself. I am so beyond thrilled to finally have someone to guide me and teach me and support me!
This was only 12 hours after I laid in bed stewing over the fact that my darling husband "just didn't get it", he wants so bad to help me but he doesn't understand. HE can literally eat anything! Now I have help and support. So end of tears, wonderful wonderful day and I do not think day #3 could have been bad after that no matter what...talk about motivation.
Quick update on meals: today I had my fat tea and a smoothie from the healing kitchen cookbook, then leftovers for lunch. Dinner tonight was exciting because I tried some new stuff out!! I made BBQ chicken in the crockpot (BBQ sauce from the healing kitchen cookbook) and served it over sweet potatoes.
Day #4 adherance: Biscuits and breakfast sausage (healing kitchen cookbook) and leftovers for lunch and dinner. Nothing too exciting! Allergies are almost gone!!
Day #3 = the best day ever!
Because the AIP community is so small it seems like everyone is connected. There are a few big names out there and the women who lead this community are not only the strongest and most intelligent woman I have ever had the pleasure of reading about, but they are also the most giving and generous. I do someday hope to be as kind and giving as these women. With any other medical community it is easy to see the competition and the cut throat atmosphere between members of the groups. But not the AIP community. This group of individuals learns something new and then figures out any way possible to share the information to help everyone heal and is always giving credit where credit is due.
I got my start on the paleo and AIP journey because someone recommended I listen to The Phoenix Helix podcast, with host Eileen Laird. This woman is amazing! She interviews anyone and everyone that has insight into the healing community and does anything she can to make sure everyone gets to hear the information. From her, I learned about Sarah Ballantyne (The paleo mom), and Mikey Trescott. I signed up for their emails and learned about a giveaway from Angie Alt. The grand prize was signed copies of AIP books from so many big wigs, and her personal guiding assistance on the AIP for 6 weeks. Now if you remember correctly I only started my journey on Monday, and signed up for the prize the same night. Well low and behold early Wednesday morning I opened my Instagram to find out that I WAS THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! I, for the first time in 2 years, started hysterically crying, not because I was ready to end my life from being a terrible burden on my family, but because someone cared enough about my healing journey to help me!! This is very new for me. Even being as sick as I am, I am still the first person to offer to help before accepting any myself. I am so beyond thrilled to finally have someone to guide me and teach me and support me!
This was only 12 hours after I laid in bed stewing over the fact that my darling husband "just didn't get it", he wants so bad to help me but he doesn't understand. HE can literally eat anything! Now I have help and support. So end of tears, wonderful wonderful day and I do not think day #3 could have been bad after that no matter what...talk about motivation.
Quick update on meals: today I had my fat tea and a smoothie from the healing kitchen cookbook, then leftovers for lunch. Dinner tonight was exciting because I tried some new stuff out!! I made BBQ chicken in the crockpot (BBQ sauce from the healing kitchen cookbook) and served it over sweet potatoes.
Day #4 adherance: Biscuits and breakfast sausage (healing kitchen cookbook) and leftovers for lunch and dinner. Nothing too exciting! Allergies are almost gone!!
Down in the trenches and day #2 AIP
Today is day #2. Quick update on following the protocol: following the food part of the AIP is proving much easier than I thought it would be. I was worried that I would get tempted, and trust me chocolate chip cookies are for sure calling my name especially during today's blood sugar crash. I had my fat tea for breakfast, a huge salad and bone broth for lunch, a kombucha for a snack, and fish, acorn squash and some sautéed veggies for dinner. Pretty much my usually daily meals. I think it has been easier because I have already cut out so many of the foods that are not compliant. I am ordering some extra fun things from amazon (sweet potato chips and duck fat!!) that will help get me through this intro phase but I am feeling confident about it all. The lifestyle component will for sure be the most difficult for me. I am struggling already with taking time for myself. I know this will take time and I am going to be very easy on myself as I get deeper into this change.
This seasons allergies have been unbelievable. I haven't had this kind of an attack in a long time. Bright side: it gives me an excellent excuse to sleep more.
I want to write for a few minutes about why I am going through all of this and trying so hard to make these changes. I really feel like this is my last chance at feeling better. I am a mom of 2 young children and a daughter of a mom who was sick for the greater majority of my life (18 of my 29 years of being alive). I had such a huge amount of resentment for my mother being sick. At 11 years old my role of young kid turned quickly to second mom to my baby sisters and caretaker to my mom and her completely useless husband. My basic needs were no longer my concern. I spent my free time cleaning and caring for my sisters. There education and hunger took priority to my freedom. I love my sisters more than anything and I appreciate that my mom lived through that hell. But I cannot help but feel scared that my children would ever hold onto anger towards me for being sick.
I chose to get my master's degree in psychology because I always held onto the anger that no one reached out to help me when I was a young kid dealing with so many hard things. I hated going to school because the problems my friends were complaining about were so trivial compared to the things I was dealing with at home. Their problems consisted of things like "my mom bought the wrong frozen pizza's" and they could never understand me, when my problems were things like "I haven't seen my mom in a week because she is dying slowly in her bedroom." It surely was hard to fit in. I thought that I would be a hero, I would go and save all the kids who's moms were sick and had lost a childhood. I thought I would rescue the world. It doesn't take long to realize how empathy and personal sorrow can get in the way of saving the world. My psychology degree gave me an invaluable set of lessons and taught me how to research, how to learn, how to listen, and ask the right questions. I have an degree in experimental psychology with an emphasis in early childhood development. Again, I thought I was going to save the world. Early in my studies while getting my bachelors degree I started doing independent research. This was to help me get into a graduate program. I started looking into health and why people who know what they can do to make themselves healthy continue to weaken their own bodies. I continued to study this for another 6 years until I eventually wrote my thesis on the topic. I never understood why I cared so much about the subject until I got sick myself. I now look back on my life and my education and I realize, even though, I thought that my goal was to save the kids, God's plan for me was to save the moms. Why I didn't realize sooner, that this whole time I thought I was learning and studying to help kids, I was actually providing myself with the best foundation for changing the mothers health to let her save her own kids childhood.
It took me laying in bed and saying those same things I remember my mother saying to me to realize what I needed to do. I need to be the very best version of myself, the healthiest me, to be here for my kids, to give them the "slow as honey childhood" and so that I can save other moms from raising children with my fate.
I have tried every avenue and I refuse to let the drug companies tell me how to live my life. I know the AIP will save me and my kids and this is my journey and I am taking the reins.
This is my last best push for my girls. I refuse to spend even one more day in bed telling my perfect children that "mommy is too tired to play today".
This seasons allergies have been unbelievable. I haven't had this kind of an attack in a long time. Bright side: it gives me an excellent excuse to sleep more.
I want to write for a few minutes about why I am going through all of this and trying so hard to make these changes. I really feel like this is my last chance at feeling better. I am a mom of 2 young children and a daughter of a mom who was sick for the greater majority of my life (18 of my 29 years of being alive). I had such a huge amount of resentment for my mother being sick. At 11 years old my role of young kid turned quickly to second mom to my baby sisters and caretaker to my mom and her completely useless husband. My basic needs were no longer my concern. I spent my free time cleaning and caring for my sisters. There education and hunger took priority to my freedom. I love my sisters more than anything and I appreciate that my mom lived through that hell. But I cannot help but feel scared that my children would ever hold onto anger towards me for being sick.
I chose to get my master's degree in psychology because I always held onto the anger that no one reached out to help me when I was a young kid dealing with so many hard things. I hated going to school because the problems my friends were complaining about were so trivial compared to the things I was dealing with at home. Their problems consisted of things like "my mom bought the wrong frozen pizza's" and they could never understand me, when my problems were things like "I haven't seen my mom in a week because she is dying slowly in her bedroom." It surely was hard to fit in. I thought that I would be a hero, I would go and save all the kids who's moms were sick and had lost a childhood. I thought I would rescue the world. It doesn't take long to realize how empathy and personal sorrow can get in the way of saving the world. My psychology degree gave me an invaluable set of lessons and taught me how to research, how to learn, how to listen, and ask the right questions. I have an degree in experimental psychology with an emphasis in early childhood development. Again, I thought I was going to save the world. Early in my studies while getting my bachelors degree I started doing independent research. This was to help me get into a graduate program. I started looking into health and why people who know what they can do to make themselves healthy continue to weaken their own bodies. I continued to study this for another 6 years until I eventually wrote my thesis on the topic. I never understood why I cared so much about the subject until I got sick myself. I now look back on my life and my education and I realize, even though, I thought that my goal was to save the kids, God's plan for me was to save the moms. Why I didn't realize sooner, that this whole time I thought I was learning and studying to help kids, I was actually providing myself with the best foundation for changing the mothers health to let her save her own kids childhood.
It took me laying in bed and saying those same things I remember my mother saying to me to realize what I needed to do. I need to be the very best version of myself, the healthiest me, to be here for my kids, to give them the "slow as honey childhood" and so that I can save other moms from raising children with my fate.
I have tried every avenue and I refuse to let the drug companies tell me how to live my life. I know the AIP will save me and my kids and this is my journey and I am taking the reins.
This is my last best push for my girls. I refuse to spend even one more day in bed telling my perfect children that "mommy is too tired to play today".
Monday, April 25, 2016
AIP day #1 and my healing story thus far
It only seems fitting that my first post here should be my first day on the Paleo AIP (autoimmune protocol). On June 23, 2015 I was finally diagnosed with Celiac's disease and Hashimoto's thyroid disease. Approximately 6 years prior I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis (IC) and Endometriosis after having chronic UTI's (urinary tract infections) for 5 years (I'm talking once a month here). I was placed on a low dose antibiotic for 18 months to help with the UTI's. My urologist told me that my body was just in a cycle and it was used to getting the UTI's that I needed to break the cycle by taking antibiotics every night for 1 year or more to break the cycle. Unfortunately I had no idea how to properly take antibiotics or how they would effect the rest of my already depleted body.
A very quick synopsis of my medical history: From as far back as I can remember I was never as energetic as the other kids, after 3-4 trips per week to the nurses office, at about 10 years old, I was finally diagnosed with hypoglycemia. Whenever my blood sugar would crash I would reach for some candy or drink something sweet in order to remain at school for the day. I became known as the girl who always had a bag of candy in her backpack. As long as I had a sugar high I felt okay. Around age 15 I had a terrible bout of food poisoning that took me out of school for 2 weeks. I could not stand up straight because it felt like my intestines were being ripped in half. After that the digestion problems started. By 16 I was already taking reflux medication (no one looked at my diet at this time even though I was 5'10", 120 pounds, and ate a carton of ice-cream every day). I was also suffering from stress fractures (I was a runner) and insomnia. By age 18 the UTI's started as well as IBS, Depression, Panic Disorder, Vertigo and Acid Reflux. Doctors repeatedly told me that I was totally fine. At 18 years old I was on Anti-Depressants, Anti-Anxiety medication, high doses of Ibuprofen for the swelling that caused pain in my chest after my monthly (sometimes weekly panic attacks), and Zantac for the heartburn and to protect my stomach lining from the high doses of Ibuprofen. I refused any IBS medication. At 22 years old I added the low dose antibiotic for the UTI's and Valium for my insomnia and vertigo. At 24 I finally sought out a naturopath who explained to me that after almost 5 years of being on antibiotics I had completely destroyed the lining of my organs. The pain I was experiencing in my bladder was now constant and could not be relieved from antibiotics or pain killers. The doctors told me that I would now have to be on a pain management program and take medication for the urgency. The naturopath helped me clear infections from parasites, change my diet, adjust my hormones, and heal the linings (I was still getting the UTI's, just less frequently). Within 4 months I was feeling better than I had in my whole life and BOOM, I got pregnant with my first baby. I was sick while pregnant but nothing I couldn't handle. The endometrioses pain was gone, no bladder infections, and I could eat whatever I wanted. I nursed her till the day her sister was born exactly 2 years later. I nursed the second baby until January 2015, and by March 2015 I could barely stay upright more than 2 hours at a time. I couldn't eat hardly any foods without experiences problems and the bladder infections returned this time with no mercy and they were completely antibiotic resistant.
That was way more than I thought I had to share. Sorry for the long winded recount. On June 23rd I cleaned out my house and pantry. I got rid of all my food that could potentially cause me pain but my children still have bagels and bread (we have a gluten zone in my kitchen that I do not go near). I quickly felt the symptoms of detox which have lasted thus far. I have only had 2 bladder infections since June but they faded quickly with use of supplements. I lost 35 lbs. I still have pain from the IC and endometriosis and I still have problems with my thyroid symptoms and malabsorption. I have been on a strict grain free and dairy free Paleo diet for 3 months. I cut out all nightshades and I am finally ready to embark on my Autoimmune Protocol journey. I have been too tired and too sick for too long. I am ready to take the steps necessary to help myself. The biggest piece missing in my paleo journey is the lifestyle component.
Pledge time: today starts day #1 of my AIP journey. But is isn't just about food. I pledge to make sleep a priority in my life, take 10-20 minutes a day to take care of myself and my needs and make my bedroom a stress free zone!
Thank you for taking the time to read all of this and I appreciate your support on my journey.
A very quick synopsis of my medical history: From as far back as I can remember I was never as energetic as the other kids, after 3-4 trips per week to the nurses office, at about 10 years old, I was finally diagnosed with hypoglycemia. Whenever my blood sugar would crash I would reach for some candy or drink something sweet in order to remain at school for the day. I became known as the girl who always had a bag of candy in her backpack. As long as I had a sugar high I felt okay. Around age 15 I had a terrible bout of food poisoning that took me out of school for 2 weeks. I could not stand up straight because it felt like my intestines were being ripped in half. After that the digestion problems started. By 16 I was already taking reflux medication (no one looked at my diet at this time even though I was 5'10", 120 pounds, and ate a carton of ice-cream every day). I was also suffering from stress fractures (I was a runner) and insomnia. By age 18 the UTI's started as well as IBS, Depression, Panic Disorder, Vertigo and Acid Reflux. Doctors repeatedly told me that I was totally fine. At 18 years old I was on Anti-Depressants, Anti-Anxiety medication, high doses of Ibuprofen for the swelling that caused pain in my chest after my monthly (sometimes weekly panic attacks), and Zantac for the heartburn and to protect my stomach lining from the high doses of Ibuprofen. I refused any IBS medication. At 22 years old I added the low dose antibiotic for the UTI's and Valium for my insomnia and vertigo. At 24 I finally sought out a naturopath who explained to me that after almost 5 years of being on antibiotics I had completely destroyed the lining of my organs. The pain I was experiencing in my bladder was now constant and could not be relieved from antibiotics or pain killers. The doctors told me that I would now have to be on a pain management program and take medication for the urgency. The naturopath helped me clear infections from parasites, change my diet, adjust my hormones, and heal the linings (I was still getting the UTI's, just less frequently). Within 4 months I was feeling better than I had in my whole life and BOOM, I got pregnant with my first baby. I was sick while pregnant but nothing I couldn't handle. The endometrioses pain was gone, no bladder infections, and I could eat whatever I wanted. I nursed her till the day her sister was born exactly 2 years later. I nursed the second baby until January 2015, and by March 2015 I could barely stay upright more than 2 hours at a time. I couldn't eat hardly any foods without experiences problems and the bladder infections returned this time with no mercy and they were completely antibiotic resistant.
That was way more than I thought I had to share. Sorry for the long winded recount. On June 23rd I cleaned out my house and pantry. I got rid of all my food that could potentially cause me pain but my children still have bagels and bread (we have a gluten zone in my kitchen that I do not go near). I quickly felt the symptoms of detox which have lasted thus far. I have only had 2 bladder infections since June but they faded quickly with use of supplements. I lost 35 lbs. I still have pain from the IC and endometriosis and I still have problems with my thyroid symptoms and malabsorption. I have been on a strict grain free and dairy free Paleo diet for 3 months. I cut out all nightshades and I am finally ready to embark on my Autoimmune Protocol journey. I have been too tired and too sick for too long. I am ready to take the steps necessary to help myself. The biggest piece missing in my paleo journey is the lifestyle component.
Pledge time: today starts day #1 of my AIP journey. But is isn't just about food. I pledge to make sleep a priority in my life, take 10-20 minutes a day to take care of myself and my needs and make my bedroom a stress free zone!
Thank you for taking the time to read all of this and I appreciate your support on my journey.
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