June 3, 2015
I was sitting in my doctor's office waiting for results back from my celiacs panel. I remember that morning telling my husband how I wasn't nervous to get the results because celiacs disease was a joke and gluten intolerance was made up by the same people who said MSG was bad. It was a trendy fad and it would be forgotten about it 10 years. Up to this point I had recieved my hashimoto's diagnosis and was dealing with several other health problems, including a lump in my neck that had gone undiagnosed because even after an MRI and ultrasound the doctors could not figure out what it was. This doctors appointment I felt no fear of results and thought it was a waste of my afternoon and a babysitter. I had no idea how the words "you have celiacs disease" would have affected me and my family at that point.
My doctor walked in the office, sat in a chair next to me, and as nonchalantly as you could ask "how's the weather?", said to me: "today you are here to get your results, let's see, oh yea, you have celiacs disease." "your numbers are extremely elevated but don't worry you just need to stop eating gluten and you'll be fine". I kid you not. That was the whole conversation. Nothing about why this happened or how to get better or which of my 500 ailments the disease was causing...simply, stop eating gluten. I remember feeling like I had the wind knocked out of me. I couldn't quite catch my breathe for the rest of the day. I called some friends who have celiacs and asked for some advice, that was too overwhelming. I told my family, but we didn't really have a clear understanding of what it all was. Then the scientist in me took over and I dived head first into the research. My first few weeks without gluten were filled with gluten replacements and more crap as well as a huge die off of symptoms which had me practically bedridden. Over the year that followed I slowly cut dairy (after learning about casein), grains in general (going paleo), and finally for the biggest change and improvement I went full autoimmune protocol or AIP.
The ups and downs from this journey have been like a crazy roller coaster. I am stronger now that I have ever been. I lost about 40 pounds, started gaining some energy back and learned that I was truly the one in control of my circumstances. I am still not in the place I want to be. I have a tattoo picked out for the day I am back to 100%. I thought today would be the day but it is not. I am celebrating in other ways. I am still gaining new momentum everyday and still learning how to heal everyday. This journey has a higher purpose and I am trusting in this path.
If this blog post sounds a little too familiar to you, make sure to find someone who can support you through this process. If you are scared looking at day one, know that it will not kill you and all the trouble will be worth it. We have a choice every single day to take one step forward or one step back. Today is proof that I have survived 365 days of making the choice to heal. It will continue to take time as it took 29 years to break down this body but I will keep doing what I can to build it back up! Cheers to one year and cheers to the next 29 healthy happy years!
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