I am a runner...

I am a runner. This is ingrained in me. I've been running my whole life, but started running on a team when I was 10 years old. I never considered myself a competitive person. I do not need to win every game in order to have fun; but I don't like people running ahead of me...so I had to be in front. I guess some people consider that a competitive behavior.

I've told my story a hundred times and a dozen different ways but I have yet to talk about this part. It hits me sometimes, late at night, this urge, this energy that I cannot explain. It's a desire so deep in me that it doesn't even make sense to me. I just want to RUN!

When I was diagnosed, almost exactly 2 years ago now, with celiac's, hashimoto's and stage 4 adrenal fatigue, the reason I went to the doctor wasn't because of all that pain, it was because it started hurting too badly to run anymore. That was my passion, running kept me grounded. I had this horrible pain in my lower left leg. Like nothing I'd had before, and I had been hurt several times in my running career. This was different.

I'd gotten shin splints before and what what that felt like becuase in high school my coach told me it was totally fine to run on shin splints (I just needed the PT to tape them every day before I ran). So, each day before practice I went to the school PT and had my shin muscle tapped to the bone so I wouldn't feel the ripping pain while I practiced. It didn't last long (about 4 months) before I could no longer walk without shooting pain. I stopped running at that point. 17 years old and I had to pause my passion to heal. It was shortly after that point that I was diagnosed with clinical depression and panic disorder. I should have known then!

Fast forward 10 years later, I am running every day and this new pain comes on. I knew I couldn't hide from this pain or tape it down. So I dug deeper. I went to a chiropractor who specialized in this sort of pain and help tons of runners. He told me it was muscle related and that he saw it all the time. I spent over $1000.00 just to hobble out a month later when he told me nothing was wrong and he "fixed" the muscle. Then I went to THE sports medicine doctor for the chargers and he ordered an MRI. He found not one, but 3 grade three stress fractures in my left leg. I could have broken my leg just walking around!

Now that I am sitting in this man's office, I have a few more questions. For starters, what in the world is so wrong with my body that my bones couldn't handle the pressure I was placing them under? Drum roll please...the celiacs disease had stripped my body of it's nutrients and weakened not only my whole digestive system but also my bones. Now, I was afraid of my kitchen (my safe place) and had no outlet (running). It's been two years now and everything I do for my health is 1st for my children so they never have to have a sick mom, 2nd for my husband so I can live up to my end of the promise to stick around through this life and any other, and 3rd so I can RUN. The desire is so strong and it comes down on me like a ton of bricks.

So, I want to tell you right now, if you have stopped something you love so much that it hurts, becuase of your health, please reach out and let me try and help! I want so badly to run again, and I will. But if you are struggling to get your passion back, do not ever give up that dream! It is part of who you are like running is a part of me.

I've given myself the grace to rest and heal and build my body back up for one more year, mark my words: you'll see me back on a track!

Be well, and get back out there my friend!

Let me tell you about my church...I feel "Glorious"

I grew up in a very confining church, with a set of rules and regulations that when bent led to a whole lot of judgment. That was never my style and I never felt comfortable judging or being judged for something I thought wasn't all that bad. Since I've grown and had my own opportunity to find my truths I've learned to feel spiritually connected in so many more ways than I ever felt in that brick building surrounded by people looking to damn me. Some of those things are: being connected to nature, through hiking, running, paddleboarding, walking next to the ocean, staring at a sunset and listening to music. Recently, an incredible song, that is gaining popularity by the second, has given me that "Hallelujah" feeling like nothing I have felt in a long time.

So much has happened in my life, as with any other 30 year old woman I am sure, but I feel like I had to dig my way out of a very large hole and then learn to sustain that way of life without much in the way of examples. None of this is meant to come off as a complaint. I am actually incredibly grateful for all that I have been through because it has shaped me into someone I am pretty fond of.

But let us get back to this song...

I first saw the music video while scrolling facebook, now watch carefully, this video is magical. I lost my grandmother back in February and I had no idea the impact on my life this event would have. I've lost several people, who I was extremely close with and I thought I knew then how to deal with grief. This was different. This video hit something in me that I didn't quite understand. Then I dug a little deeper. As you know by now, I could never stop at a simple solution. My crazy, never ceasing, always searching brain wanted more! So I kept listening and listening until I got some basic understanding of why these words are like church to me. When I got sick, so much of me was lost to a world of distain, disappointment, discouragement, and certainly distaste! I lost my connection to food and my outlet in exercise and then...I lost a bigger part of me...Hope. There were countless nights that I prayed I wouldn't wake up the next day. What was the point of putting so much pressure on all the people I loved if this was going to be my quality of life. When I finally stopped the pity party and decided I wasn't a victim, never had been and never will be. I started to get my life back. Now two years later, I am starting to feel things again that I hadn't felt in a long time.
Macklemore opens the song
"You know I'm back like I never left
Another sprint, another step
Another day, another breath
Been chasing dreams, but I never slept
I got a new attitude and a lease on life
And some peace of mind
Seek and I find I can sleep when I die"
Now, I'm back! I feel it, it's all coming back. Who I am, who I was and who I want to be, it was all there all along and I just had to uncover it again and again and fight for myself and stop apologizing all the time for who I am. This song, man, it says everything!

This is my journey, there are some serious bump, big ass mountains in the way. But I am finally learning to stop seeing them as blocks and to start seeing them as lessons. Changing this mindset and making the decision to stop bitching and moaning about how hard life is, has changed how I see every scenario in my life. Even the small petty things are lessons learned.

The chorus of this song is what really gets you, I dare you to listen to these words and not close your eyes, looking up, picturing the most incredible church chorus, singing, praising, appreciating the life you've been given. I cannot help but feel gratitude and, of course, GLORIOUS!

'I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It's who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious"

How can this be just a song. It is changing parts of me I forgot to appreciate, parts I've forgotten to love about who I am! I was born to help people and encourage change in a big way. I have more to give and I am not stopping anytime soon. And now..."I'm back..."

"I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too
Another morning, a morning, don't let self get in my way
I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came"

Dear Wildlife...my experience eating clean while camping

Now don't get me wrong, I am pretty lucky. I have a trailer, a stove, a travel BBQ, a fridge, and a cast iron pan (I never leave home without it), and a family that eats the same way I do. So I realize I am at an advantage here. But if you want to be a clean eater, and your health is important to you 365 days a year regardless of where it is you are calling home for the week, then I've got a few tips for you.

Eating the way I do and caring for my body the way I do takes a lot more prep and forethought than simply grabbing something to-go. So, whenever I am going on a trip, be it 2 days or 10, I do all my meal planning, shopping, and prep in advanced. For this trip I sat down about a week early and mapped out all of my meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks) with my family, then I shopped specifically for those meals.

Dinners for 10 days:
1. Hamburgers with Potato salad
2. Trout
3. Meatloaf
4. BBQ ribs
5. Chicken Salad
6. Sausage
7. Tacos
8. BBQ chicken
9. Steak Night
10. Out to dinner (we found a great little place in LeeVining)

Once I have my list now I know what to buy and what to cook ahead. Every night when I was cooking dinner during the week before our trip I doubled my meals. One night we had meatloaf for dinner and I made 2, and put one in the freezer for the trip. I made roasted chicken one night and cooked 3! Two I strip

ped down and froze for the trip, one we ate for dinner.

There are a few advantages to camping this way and only one disadvantage. The bad thing is all the time spent thinking/shopping and prepping. But the best part is: when you are out enjoying your vacation you can spend less than 5 minutes cooking each day! Less time cooking means a lot more time playing! Bonus: you get to feel great the whole time too!

For side dishes I made big salads, and brought tons of foil packets full of veggies and good seasonings. For breakfast we had paleo pancakes (I pre-cooked and stored in ziplock bags and reheated on a pan), with eggs (cooked fresh each day) and bacon (prepped ahead). For lunches we made tuna and chicken salad ahead and use lettuce for wraps. We brought tons of clean snacks like chips, granola, RX and lara bars, and cookies. We never felt deprived and we got to play from sun up till sundown without any interruptions.

All of this is to say, that it can be done. You can eat clean and be on vacation. There is nothing convenient about being a healthy or clean eater, but you can make your life easier by planning ahead and staying on top of things. If this is an area that you are really struggling with, let me help!

You can schedule appointments with me here as well as following me on social media for all the latest updates and tips here. I do hope this helps you!

Be well my friend!