I've told my story a hundred times and a dozen different ways but I have yet to talk about this part. It hits me sometimes, late at night, this urge, this energy that I cannot explain. It's a desire so deep in me that it doesn't even make sense to me. I just want to RUN!
When I was diagnosed, almost exactly 2 years ago now, with celiac's, hashimoto's and stage 4 adrenal fatigue, the reason I went to the doctor wasn't because of all that pain, it was because it started hurting too badly to run anymore. That was my passion, running kept me grounded. I had this horrible pain in my lower left leg. Like nothing I'd had before, and I had been hurt several times in my running career. This was different.
I'd gotten shin splints before and what what that felt like becuase in high school my coach told me it was totally fine to run on shin splints (I just needed the PT to tape them every day before I ran). So, each day before practice I went to the school PT and had my shin muscle tapped to the bone so I wouldn't feel the ripping pain while I practiced. It didn't last long (about 4 months) before I could no longer walk without shooting pain. I stopped running at that point. 17 years old and I had to pause my passion to heal. It was shortly after that point that I was diagnosed with clinical depression and panic disorder. I should have known then!
Fast forward 10 years later, I am running every day and this new pain comes on. I knew I couldn't hide from this pain or tape it down. So I dug deeper. I went to a chiropractor who specialized in this sort of pain and help tons of runners. He told me it was muscle related and that he saw it all the time. I spent over $1000.00 just to hobble out a month later when he told me nothing was wrong and he "fixed" the muscle. Then I went to THE sports medicine doctor for the chargers and he ordered an MRI. He found not one, but 3 grade three stress fractures in my left leg. I could have broken my leg just walking around!
Now that I am sitting in this man's office, I have a few more questions. For starters, what in the world is so wrong with my body that my bones couldn't handle the pressure I was placing them under? Drum roll please...the celiacs disease had stripped my body of it's nutrients and weakened not only my whole digestive system but also my bones. Now, I was afraid of my kitchen (my safe place) and had no outlet (running). It's been two years now and everything I do for my health is 1st for my children so they never have to have a sick mom, 2nd for my husband so I can live up to my end of the promise to stick around through this life and any other, and 3rd so I can RUN. The desire is so strong and it comes down on me like a ton of bricks.
So, I want to tell you right now, if you have stopped something you love so much that it hurts, becuase of your health, please reach out and let me try and help! I want so badly to run again, and I will. But if you are struggling to get your passion back, do not ever give up that dream! It is part of who you are like running is a part of me.
I've given myself the grace to rest and heal and build my body back up for one more year, mark my words: you'll see me back on a track!
Be well, and get back out there my friend!
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