The importance of keeping a "clean" pantry

On February 21st my grandmother passed away. Growing up I had an incredible connection and relationship with my grandmother. When I was older and out on my own I would pick her up once a month and take her to lunch and a movie, even older still I would go to her house once a week for tea and cookies. She got me hooked on drinking tea which is a love I now share with my friends. There is just nothing like a spicy tea with gingersnap cookies. Up until about 5 years ago we were very close. Outside family members eventually pulled us apart and I lost my coveted relationship. I only got to see her and ask for forgiveness just one day before she left us. This past 4 months has been riddled with death in my family and in my close circle of friends and in these horrible moments of grief and longing I want to reach for my go-to feel-good snacks. For me it was: chocolate chip cookies, sourdough bread with cheese, and my all time favorite, peanut butter and jelly. Of course, following the the autoimmune protocol doesn't afford such treats. In fact there isn't a single thing in my list of comfort foods that could be consumed without utter pain and regression.

This brings me to my point. About a year after my initial diagnoses my entire house got cleaned out of all the things I couldn't eat. I kept a few "clean" snacks for my kids...things I wouldn't be tempted by. I continue to shop this way now. I do not buy or allow any foods in my house that would hurt me. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who support me and my goal of extreme and complete health.

By having a clean pantry and a clean fridge I cannot easily grab the things I think will make me feel better. The argument: my grandma died this week and all I wanted was comfort foods, if I am already hurting what was a piece of gluten cake going to do to me, but my pantry was clean and my fridge was clean and I couldn't make bad choices, this is the importance of being prepared.

This isn't just true in times of hurting this is especially true if you are starting out your journey. It is a lot easier to fail if you have all the bad things at arms reach.

If you just jump in and don't prepare yourself then you are preparing to fail 

If there is anything I can do to help support your journey or help you clean out the bad things, I am here for you!

Turning 30 and reflecting back

Turning 30 felt more significant to me in many ways. Of course, there is a societal aspect of pressure involved in turning 30 and being in a certain place in life but this was different. This birthday really felt like a milestone for health. I needed to prove to myself that I could be just as strong, if not stronger, than I was before I got so sick. I truly feel like I was robbed of 2 years of my life (directly following the two years that grad school took). Illness stole my energy, my strength, my happiness, and tested my faith and, on occasion, my will power. I tried not to give up hope so I gave myself an imaginary timeline. By the time I turned 30, I told myself I would be strong, I would run, hike, be awake all day, play with my kids, and discover the purpose for my illness. I am proud to say that the weekend before my 30th birthday I spent 5 days hiking and exploring. I cooked and and ate incredible food, that I wasn't afraid of, all in a TRAILER! I am prouder to say that I have found the purpose of this whole mess, or rather, it found me. I spent so long wondering if I'd ever have a good day and now I have so many good day it is hard to even recognize the bad ones. All of the fear, hard work, and discipline with my diet (all the times people asked me "so what can you eat?"), sleep and alternative medicine has paid off 10-fold. More exciting and more joyful than my own health journey: I have discovered the reason for being sick was to teach me empathy for others struggling down this path. I pray every day asking for more people to help, to let me help them win their battle. My journey is clear now and my future looks bright. I am so grateful for my tribe and my community for getting me where I am and grateful that "30" provided such a beautiful deadline for the hardest part of my calling. Please accept my humblest gratitude for the birthday greetings and well wishes, especially to those who made time to see me, this year meant the most all. Thank you.

Now is the time to seek health and wellness. I'd sure love to help you if I can.

In health,
Sharissa

Meatloaf Recipe: MMM....Bacon

After I was diagnosed I felt like my world came crumbling down. I cook. I cook for love, for comfort, for stress, for my family and for nourishment. Telling someone, who spends more time in the kitchen than any other place in the house, that they cannot eat the food they have been preparing for 15 years felt like a big ol' kick in the gut!

It took about 6 months for my food anxiety to settle down. I instantly felt like everything was being taken from me. I could no longer run (adrenal fatigue) and I was too scared to cook or eat foods that other people prepared for me. Every place I went I felt like someone was going to poison me. Mostly because I had spent the better part of 10 years saying that gluten intolerance, sensitivity, allergy, and celiacs were all made up as a hoax to help people chose a new trend. Clearly, I believed that the karmic world would come back to me for belittling an entire culture of people trying to heal their digestive tract and hence the rest of their lives. 

After the initial 6 months of being terrified of food and basically living on smoothies and gluten free garbage from the grocery store. I slowly began to get my confidence back in the kitchen again. I started by trying all new recipes (short story, I'll save you the reading, I failed...miserably). It was a waste of my time and a waste of money. Then I realized that about 70% of the meals I had so much practice making were safe for me minus one or two substitutions. Then and only then did Sharissa get her groove back (see what I did there). With taking my already honed skills in the kitchen and making only minor tweaks, I was back. Finally I could feed my family again. So from now on I plan to share with all of you every Thursday either one of my own recipes that should look similar to your regular weekly meals or I'll share a fellow bloggers foolproof recipes that I have tried and successfully enjoyed.

Tonight for your viewing pleasure (too bad there is no such thing as smell-a-screen) my "throw all the crap in your fridge into a bowl, mix it together and call it Meatloaf" 

Recipe: Meatloaf

Ingredients:

1. 1 Medium Onion

2. 1 large carrot or two small carrots

3. 2 cloves of garlic

4. 1 cup of mushrooms

5. 2 lbs of ground meat of your choice (I do 1 lbs turkey and 1 lbs ground beef)

6. 1 egg

7. 2 tbsp almond meal

8. 3 slices of bacon (optional)

9. Salt and Pepper to taste

1. Dice ingredients 1-4 and saute until fully cooked and soft

2. Mix 1-7 and S&P  together in a bowl

3. Form into a log on a sheet pan

4. Cover the meatloaf with the 3 strips of bacon

5. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until fully cooked (time may vary depending on how thick the meatloaf is)

6. Serve with some yummy root veggies and prepare to be comforted.

I hope you enjoyed this recipe and it becomes a super quick and simple weeknight meal for you!

Surgery, Ice-packs and stitches: The ins and outs of endometriosis recovery

The weeks leading up to my endometriosis surgery, I searched the internet looking for personal accounts of what the surgery entailed, how I would feel before, during and after. I found only the webMD version of what I was facing. From that account I figured I would be up and going about my "normal" life after a few days of laying in bed being pampered. During my pre-operative appointment with my surgeon I asked him the questions I was dying to know the answer to: how bad is recovery? Is this worth it? Will I feel better after? How long will it take to feel better? At this point, my surgery was scheduled on a Monday morning and I had taken that day off of work and planned to be back to work by Wednesday. He very politely informed me that I would not be able to walk let alone drive or sit in a car comfortably for at least a week. He was far less reassuring than the watered down WebMD version. But, what did he know. He was a male, he had never had an emergency C-section after 36 hours of labor. I knew I could handle this and anything it threw at me.

Boy was I wrong...

The point of the post today is to put an accurate depiction, on the internet, for women everywhere to know exactly what to expect from this procedure and the recovery.

My surgery took place on Monday morning at 7:30am. I was nothing short of terrified of what they'd find inside my body that had been causing so much pain for such a long time. Being wheeled into the OR I remember physically shaking and the staff trying the mood light. Seemingly minutes later, I awoke in recovery feeling very beaten up. Like someone had just run me over with a car. I could walk and understand clearly what the staff was explaining to me. I arrived home and was in bed by 12:30pm. Not too shabby medical staff, not too shabby.

Some things they didn't explain to me: I had long burns under my armpits from being strapped to a bed tilted head first towards the ground. The gas that they pumped inside my so they could clearly see my organs (which left me looking like I was about 4 months pregnant) doesn't have a way to get out of the body so it settled in places like my diaphragm and collarbone. The pain from my surgery didn't hit until about Wednesday morning because the gas and burns caused so much pain that it far outweighed the rest. The rest of the recovery was to be expected, all my organs were swollen from the places that the camera bruised or the laser burned excess tissue. The incision sites hurt for another week and the overall feeling of sensitivity has still not gone away.

Life has returned to somewhat normalcy, I have returned (begrudgingly) back to work and for the most part I can wear regular cloths (so long as they do not rub on any incisions).

My advice for anyone embarking on this journey. I know that very soon I will feel 100% better and recover better off than I was before the surgery. I know the pain relief is coming and I am going to have more good days than bad. I do not regret this procedure one bit. I simply wish I had been more informed and had taken at least 10 days off to recover fully. The scar tissue, endometriosis and cysts that were found and removed gave me and my spirit such validation that it made the whole experience worth it. I could not have done this procedure without the love and support of my family and friends. I am beyond grateful that I had the opportunity to have this procedure and that I had so much love and support behind me.

Endometriosis, Surgery, and healing

As I get ready to end the night, before I go get my organs scraped, I am reflecting back on my health journey. Years before I had my children I was diagnosed with endometriosis and at the time I trusted everything my doctors said so I went on hormones to control it. After my children were here I was healed!! No more pain, no more worries. Until it came back. With a vengeance. Now it is everywhere.

I have done everything I can to be productive to heal my own with food, supplements, rest, sleep and stress management, chiropractic care, acupuncture, and myofascial release massage. It has gotten to a point now that I had to concede and have the tissues removed. In no way do I see this as a failure of my attempts, but an incredible option that I have access to.

After spending the last year desperately attempting to heal my microbiome and reduce the leaky gut and reseal, I was nothing short of terrified of what opening my body up and introducing antibiotics to it will do. But I am resolved in knowing that this is another step in my healing journey. That it is okay for me to not be in pain anymore and it is okay for me to move on with my life. I hate to think of how this particular pain has affected my life and I am so ready, now only 12 hours away, to begin another stage of recovery on my long path back to health, healing, and wellness.

Post surgery I intend to continue my regular eating, sleeping and various additional therapies to keep the tissues from reforming and reattaching. As well as keeping my gut sealed! I know I can prevent it if I am able to start with a clean slate. I have so many people loving and looking after me that I know I will heal quickly and with ease.

Endometriosis plagues so many women and in so many different ways. For me it affects my colon, bladder, uterus and surrounding areas. When it first started I only experienced pain 2-4 days per month. I now have about 2-4 days a month that are pain free. Each system in my body is affected at different times but I never seem to get a solid break from it all. If you or someone you know is dealing with this please feel free to reach out to me as I would love to hear your story and offer any guidance I can, and/ or hear any guidance from you. I wish only for more awareness and more days of pain free, than pain filled. Cheers to all you women that have it worse than I and know I am fighting right there with you and for you.

I know this is not a quick fix and I will not recover 100%, but I know it will bring relief and I will fight every day to treat this naturally without hormones or by having any of my organs removed.

One year anniversary from diagnosis date

June 3, 2015

I was sitting in my doctor's office waiting for results back from my celiacs panel. I remember that morning telling my husband how I wasn't nervous to get the results because celiacs disease was a joke and gluten intolerance was made up by the same people who said MSG was bad. It was a trendy fad and it would be forgotten about it 10 years. Up to this point I had recieved my hashimoto's diagnosis and was dealing with several other health problems, including a lump in my neck that had gone undiagnosed because even after an MRI and ultrasound the doctors could not figure out what it was. This doctors appointment I felt no fear of results and thought it was a waste of my afternoon and a babysitter. I had no idea how the words "you have celiacs disease" would have affected me and my family at that point.

My doctor walked in the office, sat in a chair next to me, and as nonchalantly as you could ask "how's the weather?", said to me: "today you are here to get your results, let's see, oh yea, you have celiacs disease." "your numbers are extremely elevated but don't worry you just need to stop eating gluten and you'll be fine". I kid you not. That was the whole conversation. Nothing about why this happened or how to get better or which of my 500 ailments the disease was causing...simply, stop eating gluten. I remember feeling like I had the wind knocked out of me. I couldn't quite catch my breathe for the rest of the day. I called some friends who have celiacs and asked for some advice, that was too overwhelming. I told my family, but we didn't really have a clear understanding of what it all was. Then the scientist in me took over and I dived head first into the research. My first few weeks without gluten were filled with gluten replacements and more crap as well as a huge die off of symptoms which had me practically bedridden. Over the year that followed I slowly cut dairy (after learning about casein), grains in general (going paleo), and finally for the biggest change and improvement I went full autoimmune protocol or AIP.

The ups and downs from this journey have been like a crazy roller coaster. I am stronger now that I have ever been. I lost about 40 pounds, started gaining some energy back and learned that I was truly the one in control of my circumstances. I am still not in the place I want to be. I have a tattoo picked out for the day I am back to 100%. I thought today would be the day but it is not. I am celebrating in other ways. I am still gaining new momentum everyday and still learning how to heal everyday. This journey has a higher purpose and I am trusting in this path.

If this blog post sounds a little too familiar to you, make sure to find someone who can support you through this process. If you are scared looking at day one, know that it will not kill you and all the trouble will be worth it. We have a choice every single day to take one step forward or one step back. Today is proof that I have survived 365 days of making the choice to heal. It will continue to take time as it took 29 years to break down this body but I will keep doing what I can to build it back up! Cheers to one year and cheers to the next 29 healthy happy years!

Adventures on AIP (9 weeks) and 1 year gluten free!!

Today marks 9 weeks of strict AIP!

When I first heard about the autoimmune protocol I was sitting in a nutritionist's office and I was literally bouncing at 4pm. This was pretty typical for my body. I would either be so tired and sluggish that I was asleep (or close to it) or I was jittery, anxious and talking about one mile a minute. My adrenal glands had stopped doing what they were supposed to. Whether that was from an HPA-axis misfire or if my body stopped remembering how to take cortisol where it needed to go who knew.

Sitting in her office, I recall telling her my symptoms from bad headaches and exhaustion but not being able to sleep ("wired but tired") to bladder pain that could not be controlled with any pain medication. She asked about how long these things had been going on and I laughed. She told me to be patient. I needed to be strict gluten and dairy free for at least one year to heal and then highly recommended Eileen Laird and her book and podcast. I am by nature a questioner and by career a researcher. So naturally I took the next 2 months to listen to every episode of the podcast "Phoenix Helix" and read the book on AIP as well as collect as many cookbooks as I could. After being 100% strict paleo for a few months and giving up nuts for a candida issue going AIP was only one more jump: no nightshades and no chocolate. The nightshades took themselves out after I had an anaphylactic reaction to tomatoes in an in-and-out drive through ("you know what you did tomatoes!!"). I took the leap on April 25th, 2016 and on April 27th I won a place in Angie Alt's SAD to AIP in 6 group. God was telling me I was on the right path to healing. Along with winning that spot I won 4 cookbooks that I already had saved in my amazon wishlist. GO ME!

Reflecting back on this whole process. I wish I would have started sooner!! Of course everyone says that and I am sure that I wasn't ready until I actually took the plunge. The food and preparing food has come very easy to me, especially with the help of "The Healing Kitchen" cookbook (this one is by far my favorite and my go to for meal prep). I finally, after about 7 weeks, got the hang of meal planning, batch cooking, and where to buy all of my groceries for the week. I hate not having anything that is convenient but I am learning to prep when I feel awesome so there is always something in the fridge for me to grab. I miss treats but I know someday I will eat the best chocolate chip cookies ever and it will have been so worth the wait!!

Update on healing: When I first started on AIP I was immediately hit with a very bad bladder infection it seemed completely defeating. How could this happen if I was doing everything right?? But after research and serious reflection I decided that my body need to detox and was going to do so by clearing each organ and my bladder just got hit first! Since that point I have gone in reverse order healing. This concept is taken from "Herring's law of the cure" If you are ill and you haven't read about this yet, start googling!! For the past 9 weeks I have felt almost all the old symptoms I had since I can remember being ill back in my single digit days! It has been hard and some days down right miserable. But I stayed on track with my food, made sleep a priority, got regular chiropractic adjustments, started using acupuncture for pain relief and upped the amount of nutrient density in my foods. I have more energy now than I have in 10+ years, I have regular periods, I sleep every night without sleep aids, I wake up almost every morning ready to face the day. Instead of sleeping 3 hours in the middle of every day I use the time to read, catch up on TV shows, batch cook, clean my house etc. I actually called my husband one day during my kids napped time and yelled on the phone "are you freaking kidding me, people have time in the middle of the day that they don't have to sleep, do you know how much I got done today!!!" I felt robbed of my time. Time that I have spent sleeping and trying to cope with life that I now get to enjoy!!

I still have bad days, but now I have one bad day a week instead of one good one. I have more hours every day spent feeling good than bad. I finally get to take my kids to the park and play with them! I have gotten something in my life back that I didn't think I ever would. I do not think AIP was the only missing link to my healing and I certainly have a long way to go.

Thank you for going on this journey with me. I am looking forward to continuing these posts about my journey and AIP. I don't think I am ready to start re-intros yet but I am getting closer and boy do I miss eggs, chocolate and nut flour cookies!!