An Open Letter to The Universe

The month of April, for me is the month of mindfulness and I want to share something very personal with you. My business coach taught me to ask the Universe for what I want. So this is my open letter to the Universe.

I strongly encourage you to figure out exactly what it is you want in life and start asking for it. You can use my letter as a model if you'd like. Most importantly, you need to know that you are responsible for your own reality and one way to break the cycle is to know what you want and ask for it! Here is my rendition:


Dear Universe,

Thank you for my life and existence, my gratitude for this life is immeasurable. I would like to allow myself all this life has to offer and stop keeping myself from love, peace, joy, abundance, and above all happiness. I will do that by spelling out my letter to the Universe.

I want to own my own business but not let it own me. I want time for myself and my children without feeling guilty for taking the time for those things. I want financial independence, freedom, and wealth in all areas of my life beyond any measurable scale. I want to get out of my own way and stop abusing myself by withholding love and affection from myself. If I can only love others as much as I love myself; I want to show myself unconditional love. Because I deserve it. I want ringing positivity in my household.

I want to feel so amazing on my own health and healing journey that I cannot help but spread wellness to everyone I encounter. I want enough joy to share. I want to help change the lives of women everywhere so no child ever goes without a mother.

I deserve to be paid well because the information I have is valuable, important, and worth sharing. My time and education is worth paying for. I deserve to buy myself nice things with no added guilt. Dear Universe, I am willing to meet you halfway. I am willing to live on a set spending plan and cash diet. I am willing to attend 2 marketing events each month. I am willing to give myself "me time" each day because I am worthy of self care. I am committed to allowing the Universe to send me the women/men/and families who need me, in tremendous amounts. I believe this is all possible because I know this is my path, my journey, my calling, my passion, and my gift. I will not settle for less, because I am worth it!

_____________________________________________________________

I really hope you find this letter inspirational. I also hope you are able to figure out what is most important for you and learn how to ask for what you want. We have the ability to attract positivity into our lives if we are willing and open to accept it. This is a hard lesson for me and I am just starting my journey. I hope this finds you well!

**Please feel free to replace the word Universe with whatever rings true for you. For me the word Universe is synonymous with God.

. 

MindSet Challenge 2017

I have been getting down on myself and I can recognize the patterns. It is time to change my mindset. So, along with doing my whole30 challenge group every month this next month will be special. Starting April 1st (this coming saturday) I will be incorporating the miracle morning into my routine. This is a #mindsetchallenge and I will be committing myself to 30 days of the miracle morning.

April will be all about whole foods and whole mindset. If you haven't heard of the the miracle morning check out the site. You can buy the whole book or enter your email address and get the two chapters free that you need to get started. The goal of the miracle morning is to give yourself time every day with the intention of bettering your world. The rules: wake up at least 30 min earlier (the book recommends 1 hour but I am going to start with 30 min) and give yourself 5 minutes each with each task.

The tasks: Silence, Affirmations, Visualizations, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (journal). The two downloadable chapters give more information on each of these things but I will give you a brief intro of what I do. I like to do my silence, affirmations and visualizations after I journal. I like to get all my thoughts out on paper and then use those thoughts to create my affirmations for the day. After this I like to read from an educational book  (I really use this time to better myself physically, emotionally and mentally) lastly I go for a nice walk around the block. If I am lucky my kids are still asleep and I can sneak out while everyone is resting and go for a quiet walk. What I notice is that I cannot seem to pay attention to my music. Business ideas and family hacks start flooding my mind and I want to use the time to work through all that the universe is providing for me.

You can do these in any order that you'd like to do them and you can take as much time on each one as you'd like. I like to do about 5 min total on visualizations and affirmations but I read for about 20 minute and my walk its typically more like 30 minutes. Do what works best for you! Here is the 30 day quick start guide with a calendar to mark off the days. I will be keeping track of my journey throughout april on my Facebook page and on the blog.

I really do hope you decide to hop on and join me on this challenge. Only good things can come from this and who knows maybe the next challenge will be #noTVmay. Please let me know if you have decided to join me so we can keep each other accountable! I am hoping to have the opportunity to see your lives change too!

The importance of keeping a "clean" pantry

On February 21st my grandmother passed away. Growing up I had an incredible connection and relationship with my grandmother. When I was older and out on my own I would pick her up once a month and take her to lunch and a movie, even older still I would go to her house once a week for tea and cookies. She got me hooked on drinking tea which is a love I now share with my friends. There is just nothing like a spicy tea with gingersnap cookies. Up until about 5 years ago we were very close. Outside family members eventually pulled us apart and I lost my coveted relationship. I only got to see her and ask for forgiveness just one day before she left us. This past 4 months has been riddled with death in my family and in my close circle of friends and in these horrible moments of grief and longing I want to reach for my go-to feel-good snacks. For me it was: chocolate chip cookies, sourdough bread with cheese, and my all time favorite, peanut butter and jelly. Of course, following the the autoimmune protocol doesn't afford such treats. In fact there isn't a single thing in my list of comfort foods that could be consumed without utter pain and regression.

This brings me to my point. About a year after my initial diagnoses my entire house got cleaned out of all the things I couldn't eat. I kept a few "clean" snacks for my kids...things I wouldn't be tempted by. I continue to shop this way now. I do not buy or allow any foods in my house that would hurt me. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who support me and my goal of extreme and complete health.

By having a clean pantry and a clean fridge I cannot easily grab the things I think will make me feel better. The argument: my grandma died this week and all I wanted was comfort foods, if I am already hurting what was a piece of gluten cake going to do to me, but my pantry was clean and my fridge was clean and I couldn't make bad choices, this is the importance of being prepared.

This isn't just true in times of hurting this is especially true if you are starting out your journey. It is a lot easier to fail if you have all the bad things at arms reach.

If you just jump in and don't prepare yourself then you are preparing to fail 

If there is anything I can do to help support your journey or help you clean out the bad things, I am here for you!

Turning 30 and reflecting back

Turning 30 felt more significant to me in many ways. Of course, there is a societal aspect of pressure involved in turning 30 and being in a certain place in life but this was different. This birthday really felt like a milestone for health. I needed to prove to myself that I could be just as strong, if not stronger, than I was before I got so sick. I truly feel like I was robbed of 2 years of my life (directly following the two years that grad school took). Illness stole my energy, my strength, my happiness, and tested my faith and, on occasion, my will power. I tried not to give up hope so I gave myself an imaginary timeline. By the time I turned 30, I told myself I would be strong, I would run, hike, be awake all day, play with my kids, and discover the purpose for my illness. I am proud to say that the weekend before my 30th birthday I spent 5 days hiking and exploring. I cooked and and ate incredible food, that I wasn't afraid of, all in a TRAILER! I am prouder to say that I have found the purpose of this whole mess, or rather, it found me. I spent so long wondering if I'd ever have a good day and now I have so many good day it is hard to even recognize the bad ones. All of the fear, hard work, and discipline with my diet (all the times people asked me "so what can you eat?"), sleep and alternative medicine has paid off 10-fold. More exciting and more joyful than my own health journey: I have discovered the reason for being sick was to teach me empathy for others struggling down this path. I pray every day asking for more people to help, to let me help them win their battle. My journey is clear now and my future looks bright. I am so grateful for my tribe and my community for getting me where I am and grateful that "30" provided such a beautiful deadline for the hardest part of my calling. Please accept my humblest gratitude for the birthday greetings and well wishes, especially to those who made time to see me, this year meant the most all. Thank you.

Now is the time to seek health and wellness. I'd sure love to help you if I can.

In health,
Sharissa

Meatloaf Recipe: MMM....Bacon

After I was diagnosed I felt like my world came crumbling down. I cook. I cook for love, for comfort, for stress, for my family and for nourishment. Telling someone, who spends more time in the kitchen than any other place in the house, that they cannot eat the food they have been preparing for 15 years felt like a big ol' kick in the gut!

It took about 6 months for my food anxiety to settle down. I instantly felt like everything was being taken from me. I could no longer run (adrenal fatigue) and I was too scared to cook or eat foods that other people prepared for me. Every place I went I felt like someone was going to poison me. Mostly because I had spent the better part of 10 years saying that gluten intolerance, sensitivity, allergy, and celiacs were all made up as a hoax to help people chose a new trend. Clearly, I believed that the karmic world would come back to me for belittling an entire culture of people trying to heal their digestive tract and hence the rest of their lives. 

After the initial 6 months of being terrified of food and basically living on smoothies and gluten free garbage from the grocery store. I slowly began to get my confidence back in the kitchen again. I started by trying all new recipes (short story, I'll save you the reading, I failed...miserably). It was a waste of my time and a waste of money. Then I realized that about 70% of the meals I had so much practice making were safe for me minus one or two substitutions. Then and only then did Sharissa get her groove back (see what I did there). With taking my already honed skills in the kitchen and making only minor tweaks, I was back. Finally I could feed my family again. So from now on I plan to share with all of you every Thursday either one of my own recipes that should look similar to your regular weekly meals or I'll share a fellow bloggers foolproof recipes that I have tried and successfully enjoyed.

Tonight for your viewing pleasure (too bad there is no such thing as smell-a-screen) my "throw all the crap in your fridge into a bowl, mix it together and call it Meatloaf" 

Recipe: Meatloaf

Ingredients:

1. 1 Medium Onion

2. 1 large carrot or two small carrots

3. 2 cloves of garlic

4. 1 cup of mushrooms

5. 2 lbs of ground meat of your choice (I do 1 lbs turkey and 1 lbs ground beef)

6. 1 egg

7. 2 tbsp almond meal

8. 3 slices of bacon (optional)

9. Salt and Pepper to taste

1. Dice ingredients 1-4 and saute until fully cooked and soft

2. Mix 1-7 and S&P  together in a bowl

3. Form into a log on a sheet pan

4. Cover the meatloaf with the 3 strips of bacon

5. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until fully cooked (time may vary depending on how thick the meatloaf is)

6. Serve with some yummy root veggies and prepare to be comforted.

I hope you enjoyed this recipe and it becomes a super quick and simple weeknight meal for you!

Surgery, Ice-packs and stitches: The ins and outs of endometriosis recovery

The weeks leading up to my endometriosis surgery, I searched the internet looking for personal accounts of what the surgery entailed, how I would feel before, during and after. I found only the webMD version of what I was facing. From that account I figured I would be up and going about my "normal" life after a few days of laying in bed being pampered. During my pre-operative appointment with my surgeon I asked him the questions I was dying to know the answer to: how bad is recovery? Is this worth it? Will I feel better after? How long will it take to feel better? At this point, my surgery was scheduled on a Monday morning and I had taken that day off of work and planned to be back to work by Wednesday. He very politely informed me that I would not be able to walk let alone drive or sit in a car comfortably for at least a week. He was far less reassuring than the watered down WebMD version. But, what did he know. He was a male, he had never had an emergency C-section after 36 hours of labor. I knew I could handle this and anything it threw at me.

Boy was I wrong...

The point of the post today is to put an accurate depiction, on the internet, for women everywhere to know exactly what to expect from this procedure and the recovery.

My surgery took place on Monday morning at 7:30am. I was nothing short of terrified of what they'd find inside my body that had been causing so much pain for such a long time. Being wheeled into the OR I remember physically shaking and the staff trying the mood light. Seemingly minutes later, I awoke in recovery feeling very beaten up. Like someone had just run me over with a car. I could walk and understand clearly what the staff was explaining to me. I arrived home and was in bed by 12:30pm. Not too shabby medical staff, not too shabby.

Some things they didn't explain to me: I had long burns under my armpits from being strapped to a bed tilted head first towards the ground. The gas that they pumped inside my so they could clearly see my organs (which left me looking like I was about 4 months pregnant) doesn't have a way to get out of the body so it settled in places like my diaphragm and collarbone. The pain from my surgery didn't hit until about Wednesday morning because the gas and burns caused so much pain that it far outweighed the rest. The rest of the recovery was to be expected, all my organs were swollen from the places that the camera bruised or the laser burned excess tissue. The incision sites hurt for another week and the overall feeling of sensitivity has still not gone away.

Life has returned to somewhat normalcy, I have returned (begrudgingly) back to work and for the most part I can wear regular cloths (so long as they do not rub on any incisions).

My advice for anyone embarking on this journey. I know that very soon I will feel 100% better and recover better off than I was before the surgery. I know the pain relief is coming and I am going to have more good days than bad. I do not regret this procedure one bit. I simply wish I had been more informed and had taken at least 10 days off to recover fully. The scar tissue, endometriosis and cysts that were found and removed gave me and my spirit such validation that it made the whole experience worth it. I could not have done this procedure without the love and support of my family and friends. I am beyond grateful that I had the opportunity to have this procedure and that I had so much love and support behind me.

Endometriosis, Surgery, and healing

As I get ready to end the night, before I go get my organs scraped, I am reflecting back on my health journey. Years before I had my children I was diagnosed with endometriosis and at the time I trusted everything my doctors said so I went on hormones to control it. After my children were here I was healed!! No more pain, no more worries. Until it came back. With a vengeance. Now it is everywhere.

I have done everything I can to be productive to heal my own with food, supplements, rest, sleep and stress management, chiropractic care, acupuncture, and myofascial release massage. It has gotten to a point now that I had to concede and have the tissues removed. In no way do I see this as a failure of my attempts, but an incredible option that I have access to.

After spending the last year desperately attempting to heal my microbiome and reduce the leaky gut and reseal, I was nothing short of terrified of what opening my body up and introducing antibiotics to it will do. But I am resolved in knowing that this is another step in my healing journey. That it is okay for me to not be in pain anymore and it is okay for me to move on with my life. I hate to think of how this particular pain has affected my life and I am so ready, now only 12 hours away, to begin another stage of recovery on my long path back to health, healing, and wellness.

Post surgery I intend to continue my regular eating, sleeping and various additional therapies to keep the tissues from reforming and reattaching. As well as keeping my gut sealed! I know I can prevent it if I am able to start with a clean slate. I have so many people loving and looking after me that I know I will heal quickly and with ease.

Endometriosis plagues so many women and in so many different ways. For me it affects my colon, bladder, uterus and surrounding areas. When it first started I only experienced pain 2-4 days per month. I now have about 2-4 days a month that are pain free. Each system in my body is affected at different times but I never seem to get a solid break from it all. If you or someone you know is dealing with this please feel free to reach out to me as I would love to hear your story and offer any guidance I can, and/ or hear any guidance from you. I wish only for more awareness and more days of pain free, than pain filled. Cheers to all you women that have it worse than I and know I am fighting right there with you and for you.

I know this is not a quick fix and I will not recover 100%, but I know it will bring relief and I will fight every day to treat this naturally without hormones or by having any of my organs removed.